she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
