found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
