I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
