This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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