due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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