So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
