i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Someone shattered a urinal.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
