I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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