Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
