I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize