we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
