Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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