my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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