Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
