i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
