this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
