Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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