shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
