My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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