dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
