just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
