with your own penis?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
