I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
