Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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