just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
