ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
