so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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