the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
