I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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