4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
