Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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