there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
