It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
