Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
