and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
