I think I won the penis lottery.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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