I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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