Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
