Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize