Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
