When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
