i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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