Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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