Soap is not a condiment
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
