WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
