I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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