Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
