At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
