and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
