i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
