Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize