Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
