id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
