We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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