We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
