so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
